Godmen?

Yes, Godmen indeed. Some knucklehead had the bright idea to put together an evangelical-style event with a beef-cake theme (Yes, I know how gay that sounds). Here's why it's so stupid:
Christian men are all supposed to gather in one spot and have a very personal and unique experience just like the personal and unique experiences of the people to their left and their right, but here's an added bonus. Not only do they coreograph your feelings, they tell you who you are supposed to be.
Okay, before I go too far off the deep end (and I will) I suppose I should explain that I am patently insane on the topic of audience participation of any sort. Why? I don't know. Even when I was a kid I hated the hokey pokey (the title of which, to this day, I refuse to capitalize).
Stupid Singer: You put your left foot in!!! You put your left foot..."
Me: I'll tell you were I'm gonna put my left foot. Gonna shake it all about, too you son of a (mumble mumble....)
In fact, a buddy of mine had his eighth birthday party at the "Skate Barn". When I heard the first dreaded measure of the hokey pokey, I intentionally skated into a wall so that I could fake an injury. I ended up really getting hurt, which was good enough for me. And yes, before you ask, If I were drafted into the army, I would shoot myself in the knee every time they tried to send me to the front. By the time I got discharged I wouldn't see any combat, but I'd have more purple hearts than a box my My Pretty Pony breakfast cereal.
Anyway, this event features all things "manly" like car crashes and gratuitous explosions on a jumbo-tron behind speakers like Paul Coughlin. He's some yutz who wrote a book called, "No More Christian Nice Guy,". But I am a nice guy. I get this crazy feeling that Jesus was a pretty nice guy too.
It's like the organizers got together and said, "Okay, let's take every over-the-top sterotype we can think of and cram them all into an eight hour block. Then, when people show up with their tickets, we'll tell them who to be."
Seriously, are they really trying to meet men on their own level? If I have a day off, and let's say the wife and kids are out somewhere, I'm not going to chose to spend my day watching car crashes, heading butting people, and rolling in bacon. I don't know anybody who is really like that. The guys I know would mow the lawn, wash their car, maybe catch a couple of episodes of The Munsters on TV Land.
But no, they're gonna tell you what you like.
And another thing. Pretty much every guy I know is a little fed up with the fact that every new commercial and T.V. show you see portrays only women as having the capacity to think cognatively. Guys are just big, childish, thoughtless oafs. Most guys aren't particularly fond of that image. But, someone takes all those stupid stereotypes, gives them a positive spin and says, "This is what men are like.", and guys respond.
"Why, I'm a man. So uh, yes. Yes, I act like that all the time!" Then they jump up and down, flailing their arms, and yelling, "Explosions and meat! Explosions and meat!" Then they wonder why T.V. and movies portray men as being capable of no more than jumping up and down, flailing their arms, and yelling, "Explosions and meat! Explosions and meat!"
So, I got my ticket. Who's going with me?!?