Announcement

Hi, this is the government or a hospital.
We regret to inform you that Jason was hanging by one leg from a zip line and there was a big crowd watching him and he was zipping accross Dangerkill Gorge and the president was there and Triumph the insult comic dog was there and Jason was holding Roman candles and his shirt was off and everyone was surprised at how ripped he is and he was playing hillbilly music by rubbing one of the Roman candles up and down accross his abs and there were alligators right behind him on the zip line and he was laughing and yelling "Forget you, alligators! Forget you, Dangerkill Gorge!" and then as he was going through a ring of fire his hair caught on fire and then suddenly he died right before he was killed and Triumph the insult comic dog was like, "That was the most amazing thing in the world--for me to poo-poo-hoo-hoo-hoo...." and he was crying and all the women in the audience started crying and now Jason's dead.

Ha, Gotcha!
April Fools!
suckers