Don't cheap out on your seeing eye dog.

I'm thinking that I probably had enough propane to get me through a single BBQ, but I wanted to fill the tank anyway. I mean, if you run out of propane on the Fourth of July you might as well pack up your crap and move to Cuba. You know why? Because you're a communist, that’s why. On my way to the gas station I was treated to a little show put on by the world's lousiest seeing eye dog. I think maybe the poor guy picked it up at one of those sleazy used seeing eye dog lots where they sell any dog that can see because it has eyes as a "seeing eye dog".
Blind Guy: I don't know. My social worker says I should stick with a "Seeing Eye Dog For The Blind" brand seeing eye dog.
Salesman: Oh well la-dee-da, Mr. Rockefeller. I didn't realize you were a slave to labels.
Blind Guy: It's not that. It's just that, well, this one has bitten me twice already.
Salesman: Oh that? They all do that when they're new. It'll settle down after a couple of miles.
Blind Guy: I don't know....
Salesman: Listen. If you're not interested, I have another blind guy coming down this afternoon who already made me an offer on this exact dog over the phone.
Blind Guy: I'll take it!
And that's probably why the dog stepped off the curb against a red light and sat down in the left hand turn lane. Of course the man didn't know exactly what was going on, but he could tell that something wasn't quite kosher. He was very agitated and yelled something at the dog. My windows were up so I couldn't hear him but I imagine it was something along the lines of, "Pardon me, faithful hound! I would like to safely reach the other side of the road!"
The dog slowly turned its head and looked up at his master with the same expression I would get from a sixteen year old sales clerk if I walked into Hot Topic. (For those of you who may not know, Hot Topic is a mall shop that sells individuality paraphernalia. That's how you can tell who the non conformists are. They wear the same clothes and have the same tattoo on the small of their back as all the other non conformists.) I'm sure that the guy could feel the dog turning to look at him because he shut up post haste. Since your seeing eye dog could walk you off a cliff if he chose to, I imagine that living with a seeing eye dog would be a lot like living with that kid from The Twilight Zone who could send you to the corn field if you did or said something that he didn't care for.
"It was great the way you stranded me in traffic, Patches. Yep, it sure was good that you did that."
Finally the dog stood up, yawned, checked his watch, and casually strolled his master out of the road. Now, I ain't no expert, but I think that maybe he should take his dog back to the dealership. He can get himself a nice brand name dog, maybe one of those models with a "For The Blind" tattoo on the small of its back.