Warning: do not read

Actually, if you're a parent it might be kind of okay. That's because parents understand that children sometimes exhibit the sort behavior one might expect from an escaped science experiment. If you are not a parent, I suggest you read no further.
So, yesterday was DJ's first April Fools day where he really got the joke. All morning he was saying things like, "Dad! There's a fly in your hair! April Fool!". At about 9:30 I was in the kitchen and DJ runs in yelling "Dad! Daisy just pooped on your book!" I tried to help him understand that jokes are okay but this one was a little too vulgar. "Okay, I get it. But that's a little gross, buddy...............Why aren't you saying April fool?"
"Because she did!"
I went into the living room and sure enough my "Diseases of Stone Fruits" book was right on the floor where I'd left it. It now enjoyed a certain ornamentation that I had not put there myself. Daisy had taken off her diaper and thrown a deuce right on the cover. It lay there with one end curled up at a jaunty angle and I can't tell you how unexpected that was. I was not aware that we had a new rule: Anything left on the floor is subject to dookage. Now I don't even want to lie on the floor to fish a toy out from under the couch without a spotter.
It's even more un-nerving when we go to other people's homes. Last night we had a barbeque with some friends. My buddy Dan put a plate of meat on the ground for just a second so he could scrape off the grill. I look over at daisy and she's gripping the velcro straps of her diaper like a gunfighter just waiting for us to turn our backs. I say to Dan, "Hey man, you might not wanna put that on the ground."
"Why?"
"Dude, just don't"
I guess it's time to potty train Daisy. Either that or start keeping a record of her activities for science.