Open hand. Insert comedy.

So we got DJ into a karate class that the city offers for cheap. Because, you know, there's nothing cuter than five year olds kicking eachother in the face. Actually, they just started. I'm not sure when the face kicking really gears up.
The instructor is about 17 years old and I'm pretty sure he's there as a guest from the Barney Fife school of marshal arts. Sensei Scott didn't mention it, but he tipped his hand by following most statements with "I am the weapon.", "My whole body is a weapon.", or some variation on that theme. His class starts like this:
"Karate is Japanese for 'open hand'. We call it that because we use no weapons. I am the weapon. I know that if I'm walking down the street and I should need to defend myself, I do not need a weapon. My whole body is a weapon."
To which DJ responds, "What if you get hit by a car. Then you're weak. You're hopeless." Yes, that is an exact quote. I love that kid so much.
Sensei Scott was a bit flustered but continued to work, undaunted, to impress the group of five year olds.
He explained the "lunge" in a menacing tone. "I step first with my front foot and JUMP with the hind foot. I am now a weapon. Instead of walking, I LUNGE at my attacker." To which another kid named Shane points out, "Isn't that like skipping?". I love Shane so much.
Sensei Scott cleared it up thusly, "We don't 'skip' in karate. We lunge. We're weapons after all."
Becoming visibly shaken, Sensei Scott moves on to punches and blocks. After getting in a few practice moves he very carefuly points out that he is a weapon. Then he Asks, "Okay, we've used our punches and we've used our blocks. Is there anything we haven't used?" Cue Shane: "The radio?". Damn skippy Shane! You nailed it! That kid is so awesome.
Sensei Scott explained that he was refering to kicks. He demonstrated one and I must admit, he looked like a weapon. I have never been so scared of toes in my life. He even threw in one of those karate screams that sound like he just saw a spider. You know, I think that's half of karate right there. You just yell. Then the other guy gets all freaked out and while he's looking for the spider, you kick his ass.
Anyway, I hope to get some pictures next week. It's actually pretty cute to see them all in a line doing their little practice moves. I'll get some shots of Sensei Scott too. He's a weapon you know.